Some 🎂 news: I turned 32 this week! And TBH, after blowing out the candles on my fabulous cake, I realized I had some thoughts on aging that I wanted to share for the newsletter this week. Here it goes! 

I always thought that the older I was, the less sex I’d be having. I don’t know why! I guess it’s just one of the many harmful narratives our culture teaches us about sex and aging. 

But honestly? Now, the older I get, the more I feel like my sex life is actually only getting better. Why? I truly feel like I’ve cracked the code on the way my body works, unlocking all the ways that I can experience the absolute most pleasure in the bedroom. (While going solo and with a partner!) 

I ran this by a few friends in their 40s, and they couldn’t help but agree: Sex gets better with age. You don’t let the little things impact you as much (hi, body insecurities!) and you can actually allow yourself to feel your most sensually confident. (As we stated in past newsletters, over half of older adults are still having sex, after all.) 

“Research shows that couples that have the best sex focus on two things: pleasure and intimacy,” explains sexuality expert Kaamna Bhojwani. “Older people are more willing to put time into their relationships to build the vulnerability and comfort level that intimacy requires,” she says. Basically, the older you are, the better sense you have of what you enjoy, and you are more comfortable actually expressing what you enjoy, too. 

Even as more birthdays pass by, odds are we have even better, more fulfilling sex to look forward to as we move out of our 30s and 40s as well. With their careers and raising kids behind them, many women Bhojwani speaks with in their 50s and 60s say they are “excited to pour more of themselves into their relationships and grow in ways they couldn't when life's responsibilities had them preoccupied.” 

TBH, it seems like we shouldn’t worry about what our sex lives will look like the older we get, but instead, look forward to all the amazing ways we can experience pleasure the more life experience and wisdom we accumulate. 

Cheers to many years of amazing sex ahead. 🎂🎉 And thanks for celebrating with me! 💜