Whether you’ve tried (and failed) at anal sex before or you’ve been too scared to ever give it a shot, it’s totally understandable. Anal sex can be scary! Especially if you’re new to the sensation or are overwhelmed at the thought of doing it. 

And that’s okay! You should never feel pressured to do anything you don’t want to in the bedroom. But if you are curious about anal sex and you want to approach trying it in a safe, comfortable manner, look no further. 

The following is what you need to know about anal sex before, during, and after, according to certified sex therapist Aliyah Moore, Ph.D.

Start Small!

It's important to start with gentle stimulation, such as fingers or a small butt plug, to help relax the muscles in and around the anus. Take your time and go at a pace that feels comfortable for you. You can gradually work your way up to larger objects to help reduce discomfort and pain.

Go to The Bathroom, Babe

Before engaging in anal sex, it's a good idea to empty your bowels to reduce the likelihood of any fecal matter coming into contact with you or your partner. This can be done by using the bathroom or taking an enema or anal douche.

Make Sure You’re Slipping and Sliding

As you probably know, the anus does not naturally produce lubrication, so using plenty of personal lubricant can help reduce friction and make the experience more comfortable for both parties.

Relaaaax Your Muscles

The muscles in and around the anus can be tense, especially if you are nervous about the experience. Take deep breaths and be sure to engage in foreplay, which can help relax the muscles and make you more comfortable.

Wrap Up!

Anal sex can increase the risk of sexually transmitted infections, so it's important to use a condom to protect against STIs and reduce the risk of HIV transmission. This is especially the case if you’re not in a monogamous relationship!

Check In With Yourself

It's important to pay attention to your body and stop if you experience any pain or discomfort. Anal sex should not be painful, so if you experience any discomfort, stop and take a break.

Clean Your Machine

After anal sex, it's important to clean the area with warm water and mild soap. Avoid harsh soaps or douching, as this can disrupt the natural balance of bacteria in the anus.

Trust: you’ve got this! Anal sex can be intimidating at first, but with practice it can be a great addition to your sexual repertoire. Don’t rush, go at your own pace, and don’t be discouraged if it doesn’t work out on your first try. 

Most importantly, have fun ❤️.