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Why You Should Talk To Your Friends About Sex

Why You Should Talk To Your Friends About Sex

In case you didn’t know, tonight I’m hosting a special event that’s been in the works for weeks! I’m bringing together a bunch of amazing female founders for a dinner party to celebrate AAPI Heritage Month. It'll be filled with delicious bites, drinks, awesome ambience and great conversations—specifically about intimate concerns and running businesses alike! 

Why? This year, I’ve set the goal to be even more dedicated to fostering community among other women entrepreneurs. It’s so important that we’re there to support each other through the ups and downs of running a business, and who better to be there for each other than a group of like-minded, successful women?

So in the spirit of Beia’s community-building event, for this week's newsletter I was itching to dive into the subject of friendship and the role it plays in our intimate well-being.

IDK about you, but I always feel better about my somewhat embarrassing hang ups (like smells down there, in-growns, new positions, bad dates, and the like) after speaking about them with my close friends. And honestly, I feel like most people feel this way! 

So what makes talking to your friends about sex and sensual confidence so important? Here’s what the expert Dr. Karen Stewart, PsyD, a sex and relationship therapist based in Beverly Hills, California, has to say about this… 

Friends Help You Gain Perspective 

“By sharing details with your closest friends, you can often receive perspective on how you feel about the evening,” Dr. Stewart says. For example, say that last night you had a straight up disastrous date and you recount it to your friends. Then, upon listening to your story, they actually reframed it and said that maybe it wasn’t that bad. (Maybe your date was just nervous!) Perhaps upon hearing them out, you realize they challenged your beliefs and ultimately altered your perspective from a negative one to a more neutral or even a positive note. (And you go on another date as a result!) 

They Encourage You To Try New Things

“The more ambitious girlfriends might ask for tips to help spice up a drought in the bedroom, and since they know your personality, this advice can be geared toward you,” Dr. Stewart says. “Women stereotypically talk about ‘everything’ including their sexual escapades,” she explains, which means that there’s less likely to be a taboo if you need sex tips, or even have to admit to a seemingly embarrassing problem you’re having when it comes to intimacy. Because TBH, we’re all been there. It’s totally normal to have weird smells, a low libido after pregnancy, interest in various kinks, and all the other kinds of queries we have as sexual beings. 

They Can Help You Get Comfortable If You Feel Awk Talking About Sex

Ultimately, it’s also completely fine if you find that sometimes you’re queasy when talking about sex with anyone, even your friends. That said, friends are a good people to turn to if you want to open up. “If you are uncomfortable with this topic and are seeking advice, or have some concerns about your relationship, it would be advised to talk to one very close friend to start, then branch out,” Dr. Stewart says. 

And hey, “maybe your personality doesn’t condone openly talking about your most intimate moments at happy hour or dinner parties,” she explains. That’s fine! “So start small and see how it feels.” 

We’ll see you next week 🙂.

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