Let’s be real. When it comes to the way the media portrays sex, it’s not always the most realistic depiction of intercourse! This means that many of us are influenced by societal expectations around sexuality which, in turn, creates harmful ideas about what “good sex” should look like. (What a bummer!)

“This can lead to feelings of shame, inadequacy, or performance pressure,” explains sex and relationship counselor Dr. Martha Tara Lee. But as a sexologist, Lee believes that there is “no right way” to have sex. Why? “Sexuality is a complex and diverse aspect of human experience,” she explains. AKA: What works for one person or couple may not work for another. And that’s totally fine!

“It's important for people to understand that they have the right to define their own sexual experiences and preferences,” Lee says. “There is no one-size-fits-all approach to sex, and what works for you and your partner may be different from what works for someone else.” 

It’s by embracing this diversity, though, and exploring what feels good for you that makes for truly fulfilling sexual experiences. Here’s why…

It Promotes Agency

Yep, owning what works for you means you’ll have more autonomy in your sexual experiences. “You have the power to decide what you want and don't want, and to communicate those desires with partners,” Lee says. And honestly, having more open and honest communication during sex will only enhance both of your overall pleasure. 

No More Shame! 

“When you're doing something that feels authentic and pleasurable to you, there's no need to feel ashamed or embarrassed about it,” Lee says. This can lead to a more positive and affirming relationship with your sexuality, and helps rid you of feelings of shame or guilt you might be harboring. 

It’s Legit Better For Your Health

Seriously—following what turns you on and makes you comfortable can lead to better sexual health outcomes. When you're engaging in sexual activities that feel good and are consensual, you're more likely to have positive physical and emotional outcomes like reduced stress, improved mood, increased intimacy, and reduced risk of sexually transmitted infections or unintended pregnancy, Lee explains. 

Overall, remember this: *Embrace* your unique sexual preferences and communicate them openly with your sexual partners. And trust me, this will only make for a more fulfilling and enjoyable sex life. 

Happy Pride 🏳️‍🌈 from the Beia community!