Look, you can love your partner more than basically anyone on earth! But that doesn’t mean there isn’t stuff they do that annoys TF out of you. And while it’s a sensitive subject…. Their annoying habits may even include a lack of personal hygiene standards. 

Think about it: Maybe they leave toenail clippings everywhere, or pubic hair all over the sink, or they aren’t showering after exercise and they stink… You name it. Odds are you don’t care if they’re not looking their best one day (we’ve all been there!) but when their habits start to impact you, that’s when it can become tough to endure without bringing it up. 

It’s hard, because people can be sensitive about their bodies in general and anything having to do with changing something about them. And no one wants to be told they’re basically grossing out their significant other! 

That said, there's a way to handle this situation with the care, honesty, and respect your partner deserves. “The key is to approach the subject without casting blame or making your partner feel ashamed,” explains Holly Wood, PhD candidate and sexologist at Bedbible. 

But how do you do that, exactly? Here are some dialogue cues to help guide you through this, well, delicate situation, according to Wood. 

Choose The Right Moment

Find a private and relaxed time to talk, avoiding moments directly before or after intimacy. (When people might be feeling extra-vulnerable!) 

Use "I" Statements

Express your feelings without placing blame. Say something like: I feel uncomfortable when the bathroom is untidy after grooming. TBH: It just doesn’t help to point fingers. 

Focus on Comfort & Health

To remind your partner that you care for them, frame the conversation around comfort, health, and mutual respect. You might say something like: I've noticed we've been a bit more relaxed about our shower routine. How about we both make an effort for our comfort and health?

Be Positive and Supportive

If it helps, you can offer up solutions or alternatives. For instance, suggest keeping grooming tools and cleaning wipes handy for quick cleanups, or reorganizing your bathroom to make items more accessible. (You can even offer to shower or do a scrub together! Which can be pretty hot, too.) 

Above All, Assure Your Affection!

You love your partner, so you want to make sure they walk away from this situation feeling good about themselves instead of hurt. Reiterate your affection and attraction towards your partner, ensuring the conversation is about mutual comfort and health, not a decrease in your attraction.

Let us know if you use any of these tips for yourself, and best of luck 💜.