When it comes to long-term relationships, it’s easy to get into a routine of cycling through a few different sex positions that you know will lead to climax. But how do you still challenge yourself to spice things up and charge your sex life with variety?

“While there's nothing wrong with having sex in the same kinds of positions every time, it can make it feel a little boring,” explains Leigh Norén, a sex and relationship therapist. 

The best way to not get stuck? Maintain an open communication about your sex life in general. “This way, sharing that you want to try a new position is far less likely to be misconstrued as critique or negative feedback,” Norén says. 

She recommends opening up the conversation about spicing up your sex positions by saying (in private!) something like: So, would you be open to trying something new in the bedroom the next time we have sex?

From there, it’s just about knowing what you want to do. “You can take inspiration from books, movies, even porn, whatever seems exciting to you,” Norén says. 

Think: Is there a steamy paragraph from your latest romance read that you haven’t been able to get out of your mind? Or a hot sex scene from a big blockbuster that you want to recreate? You could even watch some porn together for inspiration. It’s really up to you. 

Need more inspiration? Consider incorporating positions like… 

The Chair 🪑

Have partner A sit on the chair while partner B mounts partner A. Then partner A can penetrate partner B with their fingers, a sex toy, or their genitals while you ride them, grinding in a way that feels good to you. 

Reverse Cowgirl 🤠

Have partner A lay flat on the bed on their back. Then, partner B can mount them, facing away from partner A’s face, giving them a great view of partner B’s back side. Partner B then can take control, riding on top of partner A like, well, a cowgirl. 

Face Sitting 😋

An oldie but goodie! If you’re not sitting on your partner’s face, you should try it more. Have partner A lay flat on the bed or couch, then have partner B stand above their face. Then, partner B can gently lower themselves down until their genitals are hovering partner A’s mouth, giving them great access to orally stimulate them.

Let us know if you incorporate any of these positions into your sex life! Remember: Variety is the spice of life! So make sure you keep your sex life novel and fun, too.