The holiday season is seen as being so romantic—but it also tends to bring romantic relationships to a crossroad. This is especially true if you’re moving toward the point in your partnership that you want to bring them home! 

Take it from me: I once asked a man I was seeing for a few months to come visit family with me for Thanksgiving. He said he was too swamped to come on the actual holiday, but that he would stay the weekend. I was so excited, but he ended up “missing the train” and couldn’t come. 

In reality? We were doomed from the start. But that incident showed me that he wasn’t really ready to take things to the next level, and we needed to…yup, breakup. 

So for those of you wondering: How do I know when it’s time to bring home my S.O. for the family holiday season? Beia has your back. The following is what you should know about bringing home bae, per relationship experts. 

Consider if you’re *ready* for this

“Deciding when to invite your partner to family holidays depends on the stage and stability of your relationship,” explains sex and relationship counselor Dr. Martha Tara Lee. Get real with yourself: Does your relationship have a long-established, solid foundation and sense of commitment? If not, pause on introducing them to the fam for now, Lee says.

Prep your partner

ICYDK, family time can be really special and bring a lot of chaos and drama. (We’ve all been there…) If someone is special to you, have an open and honest dialogue with them before you go, so that you can mentally prepare them for what to expect, Lee says. Mention that yes, your family might be stressful, but they’re also an important part of who you are, and meeting them can help your new partner better understand you!

And when it comes to sex… 

We’ve covered this before, but when it comes to having sex in your childhood bedroom while you're home, here’s what to remember: Opt for sex positions that don’t make as much noise (like standing up), ditch loud vibrators or other toys, or even stick to oral sex, since it’s much easier to be ~quiet~ than penetrative sex. 

Overall, remember:

“Remember that every relationship is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach” to bringing a partner home, Lee says. Stick to open and honest conversations with your partner about their comfort levels throughout the visit. Doing so will help you strengthen your relationship and bring you closer overall. 

You’ve got this!