Since masturbation is a solo activity, it’s easy to believe that it has nothing to do with your partnered sex life. But that’s just not true!

“I believe nine times out of ten, masturbation only improves your sex life—whether you are single or in a relationship,” explains sex and relationships coach Jeni Simas. And why is that? For starters, “being able to attain pleasure for yourself is a right as a human,” she says, and we can’t help but agree.

Seriously, though. “Learning how to shape your fantasies and look at your body and worship it for what it can do instead of focusing on what it is not is extremely helpful in having a great dose of sexy self-esteem,” Simas says. This means that when it’s time to have partnered sex, you’ll only be more prepared and confident to communicate your needs in the bedroom.

An added bonus? Masturbation is also a key way to manage stress, migraines, menstrual cramps, and more. That said, we know that the beauty of masturbation can sometimes get lost in the tornado of relationships, kids, work stress, household duties, and more. The following are some tips from Simas when it comes to reconnecting with yourself and getting back into masturbation. 

Get Comfortable With Your Body

“Allow yourself a minute or two to look in a full length mirror. If you are starting this with an absolute disgust toward your own body, I recommend finding two things you like about yourself and focusing on those for a couple weeks,” Simas explains. These things could be as small as your eyelashes or your fingernails. And don’t be afraid to hype yourself up. 

Once You’re Comfortable, Try Touching 

Every day, spend just a couple minutes in front of that mirror with the above exercise. “Allow yourself to revel in what you are and how your body makes you unique,” Simas says. Once you feel you’ve gotten more comfortable with how your body looks (even if it takes months), try touching yourself while looking in the mirror (hot!) or laying down. Bring yourself to climax, if you can. 

Date Yourself! 

“Show yourself you value your pleasure and connection between body, spirit, mind, and sexuality by allowing for pleasure,” Simas says. This can mean taking yourself on a date, carving out time to explore your body through masturbating, and more. The goal is to show yourself how you are in control of making you feel immense pleasure, Simas explains.

Find Help, If Yah Need It

There’s no shame in calling in backup when it comes to masturbation. Most women aren’t taught how to masturbate, so it’s normal if this doesn’t come naturally to you! “If you are looking for more support, seek out a sex coach in your area. Sometimes, it can be as quick as one session to get you past a block,” Simas says, after which you will be able to appreciate your body and learn what you like.

Now that you’re up to speed on the beauty of masturbation, might I suggest you take some alone time right TF now? Have fun and see you next week 💜.

Xo, 

Brittany