They say that doing it on your wedding night is supposed to be the best sex of your life. But TBH: That’s totally a myth. And it needs to go! 

The idea that your best sex ever is supposed to come after a night of drinking, partying, and a huge celebration that you’ve been planning for months is, like, a lot of pressure. And it can lead to disappointment if the sex on your big day is more meh than magical. (If you even have sex at all!)

Again, let’s reiterate: “The idea that wedding night sex is the best sex of your life is a myth,” explains sex and relationship counselor Dr. Martha Tara Lee. “While it may be a special and memorable occasion, it's important to remember that sex is a journey, not a destination,” she explains. 

That said, if you’re like: So now that I know other-wordly wedding night sex is probably a fantasy, what should I expect instead? The following is how you should navigate wedding night sex for a fulfilling experience with your partner, according to Lee. Let’s dig into it. 

Communication Is Key!

If you can, you should speak with your partner about your expectations and desires for wedding night intimacy before the big day. When you do: “Remember that there's no right or wrong way to approach wedding night sex, and it's important to do what feels comfortable and enjoyable for both partners,” Lee says. 

Take A Rain Check

“If you're both feeling tired or overwhelmed after the ceremony, it's okay to postpone sex until the next day— or even later in the honeymoon,” Lee says. Seriously. You’re probably going to be wiped out post-ceremony and reception. There’s no shame in going TF to sleep and waiting until you’re actually energized. 

Shake Off The Anxiety

“For couples who feel pressure or anxiety over having great wedding night sex, it's important to remember that sex is not a performance,” Lee says. So if you have awkward moments or hiccups while you’re doing it, just relax. This is your life partner. They aren’t judging you and if this time around isn’t perfect by definition, you have your whole lives to make up for it.

Don’t Focus On The Climax

“Remember that the goal of sex is not just orgasm, but also intimacy and connection with your partner,” Lee says. If you’re stressing out about making each other climax, odds are it’s going to be even harder to do so. Just let yourselves relish in the happiness of your wedding night, go slow, explore each other’s bodies in a way that feels natural to you, and The Big O will come. 

Remember: Your wedding day is about the love you have for each other and the commitment you’re making. Don’t stress about the sex and enjoy the moment! I believe in you 😉💜.

Xo, 

Brittany