In case you missed it on my IG stories… My boyfriend and I recently moved into our second apartment together! And TBH, it was a bit bitter sweet. On one hand, we were leaving where we first started building our lil’ home. On the other hand, this new space is the perfect opportunity for a fresh start and to leave behind the growing pains associated with our old place. 

Because, yes, while I love living with my BF and the life we have now, you probably already know that moving in together isn’t always rainbows and sunshine! I was talking with a friend and we realized that, hey, this is just the kind of relationship subject we’d tackle in a Beia newsletter. So… for this week’s subject we bring you… 

How does moving in with your partner impact your sex life together?

For starters, you should know that for some people, “moving in with a partner can make things less sexy,” explains Suzannah Weiss, a sexologist at Bedbible. This might not happen right away, but being around your partner all the time can take away from the excitement you used to have when you hung out. Plus, little things that weren’t a big deal when you first started dating (like the way they leave the towel on the floor) can become a huge turn off…. 

Why? “There is less of an opportunity to miss each other and fantasize about being together, which can lead to less appreciation and less attraction,” Weiss says, leading to a short-term bump in the road. Of course, living together can help your relationship evolve into a more mature one, too, which can eventually deepen your sexual connection in the long-term. 

Overall, the key is to continuously make an effort to keep things fun and spicy. Here’s how: 

Prioritize Time Apart! 

Even though you might be drawn to hang together 24/7, when you move in together, try to resist the urge just a little bit! Trust: It’ll help you maintain a sexual passion over time. “As often as you can, make plans to go out with friends, and if possible, it can be helpful to take vacations by yourself, like a weekend getaway with friends,” Weiss says. 

Avoid Daily WFH Together

“If you both work from home, it may be useful for each of you to occasionally work from a cafe, or to have your own offices if possible,” Weiss says. You want to prevent having an ~annoying level of contact~ and maintain a sense of mystery in the relationship, K?

Keep Sex Fresh

Remember: Consciously find ways to spice things specifically in the bedroom, Weiss says. Whether it’s getting a new toy, watching porn, buying a new lube, or trying a new position together, know that sexual variety is the key to long-term intimate satisfaction. “It can provide a sense of novelty even when the relationship itself is old and familiar,” Weiss says. 

Got all this down? Great. We’ll see you next week 💜.