Whether you’re using a sex toy or having sex with a partner, odds are you’ve thought about incorporating lube into your intimacy experience. And while you might know that it’s a popular add-on to many people’s sex lives, because we’re not exactly taught about it, you also might be wondering how to actually use lube in the first place. 

If you’re stuck on this major sex question, don’t worry, the editors at Beia have you covered. Lube is a totally essential part of your sexual experience, and we want to make sure you have all the information you need to make your bedroom life work best for you. 

So whether you’re using an intimacy serum, an oil, a silicone-based product, or a different lubricant, the following is exactly how to use your preferred variety of lube effectively. (Plus, how to incorporate lube for oral sex, anal sex, and more!) And yup, as always, all of this helpful information is according to certified sex experts. (You’re welcome!) 

How to use lube and what it’s for, exactly. 

First things first, you should know that lube makes sex more comfortable by reducing friction (AKA that hot, sticky, rubbing feeling!) on the skin, explains Mayla Green, sex coach and expert at The Adult Toy Shop. Think about it: if you’re someone with vulva, it physically hurts to put a penis, finger, or sex toy in or near your sexual organs without *some* kind of wetness to ease the insertion process. 

With lube, “the added layer of slickness provides a smooth glide that feels more comfortable,” Green explains. And yup, lubricant also “prevents pulled pubic hairs and protects the delicate folds of the labia during intercourse by preventing them from getting pulled in towards the vagina, which can easily happen during dry sex,” Green says. Are you following?

How to use lube effectively

Now that you know a bit more about the lube basics, let’s learn a bit more about how to use it more effectively. For starters, you can effectively use lube by spreading it not only on the vaginal opening, but also around the labia and the tip and top half of your partner’s penis, Green says. Basically, the more generous you are with your lube, the better. 

And a pro tip you use a water-based lube: Wet your fingers first! Then pour a good dollop of your water-based lubricant of choice on them, Green says. This makes the lubricant last just a bit longer than normal and adds a more wet feel to your experience. (Which, trust, feels good!) 

How much lube should you use? 

Again: The best way to apply lube is to be generous with it! “Wetter is better,” Green says. This goes for any kind of lube that you’re using. And remember, “if you’re using a water-based lube, by combining some water with the lube, it makes it last longer by adding more hydration and prevents it from drying out (evaporating) too fast,” Green says. 

That said, common silicone-based lubes do not benefit from this extra hydration tip. “Silicone based molecules will not absorb into the skin, nor will they evaporate,” Green says. This means that the only downside to using silicone lube during sex (while it usually lasts longer on its own) is that you'll need to wash it off with soap and water once you’ve finished. The only way to break down the bond of the silicone molecules is to use soap, Green explains, otherwise you’ll feel it on your skin no matter how much you’ve used.

How to use lube for anal sex

One of the more popular reasons people use lube is for anal sex. Why? “If you’re engaging in anal play, using lubricant is a must,” explains Rachel Worthington, sex expert and educator at Bedbible. Unlike the vagina, the anus doesn’t produce any of its own lubrication, so you’ll need to provide your own. This is where lube comes in. 

You can use a specialized anal lube, which is thicker than most, or you can use a higher quantity of whatever lube you already have at your disposal. Whatever you choose, lube will help protect the very sensitive skin around the anal area, and make it a much more enjoyable experience, Worthington explains. (Which is a win!) 

Should you use lube with numbing agents?

“You should avoid anal lubes that have numbing agents in them. While you don’t want anal to be painful, if you do feel any pain, that’s a sign to stop immediately,” Worthington says. Why? Numbing the anus means you won’t know when to stop, Worthington notes, and you could end up harming the surrounding or internal area. 

How to use spit as lube

While your spit (AKA, your saliva) doesn’t necessarily qualify as actual lube, it’s certainly something you can incorporate during sex if you don’t have real lube at your disposal. Plenty of people just use their own spit when it comes to giving oral sex, for example, or they might suck on their own fingers before inserting them into the vagina. 

While saliva alone can be fine in some sexual situations, it’s important to note that it’s not always enough lubrication. (And that’s totally fine!) This is especially the case for anal sex, which almost always requires the use of lube. Got it?

How to use flavored lube and lube for giving good head

Some people enjoy using flavored lube for when they want to incorporate more lubrication into their oral sex experience. Flavored lube can make your partner’s body both taste and smell different, usually because of the glycerin (AKA sugar alcohol) that helps add different aromas and tastes to lube. 

If you want to add flavored lube to oral sex, go for it. That said, it’s important to note that “some studies have found a link between glycerin and an increased risk of vaginal infections,” Worthington says. “The evidence is really mixed, and some people use glycerin lubes with no issues, but it’s something to keep in mind,” she explains, especially if you’re also going to use this lube for vaginal or anal penetration. 

Can you use vaseline and intimacy serum as lube? 

When it comes to vaseline, you can use it in theory, but it’s not necessarily the best or safest option. It’s prone to harboring bacterial growths that can cause STIs, especially when used for penetrative purposes. Better to stick with an intimacy serum or other lubes! 

And if you’re stuck on what kind of lubrication to use, just know that any kind will probably enhance your sexual experience in some way. As always, though, we’re always an advocate of snagging our Body & Intimacy Serum, if you need some inspo (*wink wink*).