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Choosing an Arousal Oil or Lube for Sex

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Lube should be your BFF when it comes to sex. Seriously! Aside from the person (or toy, or hand, lol) you’re actually doing it with, lube is basically the second most important part of making sure you have a great sexual experience. 

Yup, experts agree that lube is “the unsung hero of sex,” explains Rachel Worthington, sex expert and educator at Bedbible. And it’s not just for moments when you’re unable to get wet—lube is a brilliant addition to legit any sexual experience. 

All that said, even if you’re on board with the importance of being lubricated, with the plethora of lube, arousal oil, and intimacy brands out there it can be difficult to know which one to choose. Rest assured, Beia has you covered. 

The following is everything you need to know about how to pick the right lube for sex—plus why you should use lubricants during sex in the first place! Read on to find out more, according to certified sex experts. 


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Why use lubricants during sex?

It’s the truth: adding lube is *so* important during sex! “Far too often, I hear people dismissing lube as unnecessary,” Worthington explains. “Some people think that you shouldn’t need lube if you’re aroused enough, or that lube is just for older people who experience vaginal dryness,” she says. But that’s not true! 

In reality, lube can make all sex better. How so? “It provides extra moisture to make every movement smoother and more comfortable. That means that it also prevents you from experiencing friction which can lead to discomfort, pain, and injuries,” Worthington explains. Are you following

Should you use lube every time?

Okay—you don’t have to use lube every time you have sex if you don’t *want* to, but it’s strongly encouraged if you’re looking to enhance your experience! “Whether you’re just enjoying some external clit stimulation, or you’re inserting a penis or a sex toy, lube makes everything slippery and better,” Worthington says. 

That said, there are situations in which using lube is definitely encouraged. Enter: anal sex. “If you’re engaging in anal play, using lubricant is a must,” Worthington says. Unlike the vagina, the anus doesn’t produce any of its own lubrication, so you’ll need to provide your own. (Which sometimes comes in the form of specialized anal lube, which is thicker than regular lube.) Using lube protects the very sensitive skin around the aal area, making it a much more enjoyable experience, Worthington explains.

One note: avoid anal lubes that have numbing agents in them. “While you don’t want anal to be painful, if you do feel any pain, that’s a sign to stop immediately. Numbing the anus means you won’t know when to stop, and you could end up doing some damage back there,” Worthington says. 

Should you use lube while masturbating?

In short, it’s up to you! Lube can definitely add to your masturbation experience by making your hands or sex toys operate more smoothly. “Vibrators are also big generators of friction, since they’re moving so quickly,” Worthington says. Incorporating lube when using a vibrator can both increase your pleasure and avoid irritating the delicate skin of your genitals, she notes. 

How do I choose the right lubricant?

If you’re not sure which lube to use, in most cases your best bet is a water-based lube, Worthington says. Water-based lubricants won’t erode the surface of your sex toys, are typically more gentle on the skin, and can be easily reapplied if need be. 

Silicone lubes, on the other hand, can last longer and feel thicker and silkier, Worthington says. “But, they will wreak havoc on any silicone sex toys you’re using, damaging the surface of the material and leaving it tacky and unsanitary. They’re also prone to staining sheets, clothes, and even furniture and hardwood floors,” Worthington explains. (Which you definitely don’t want!) 

Glycerin-based lubesIt might be smart to stay away from lubes that contain glycerin, which are usually lubes with flavor or scent. “This is a sugar alcohol that’s an incredibly common ingredient in lube, but there have been some studies that have found a link between glycerin and an increased risk of vaginal infections,” Worthington says. 

How often should you replace lube?

Technically you could use your personal lubricant for up to three years, according to the Food and Drug Administration (FDA). But why would you risk it? Bottom line: You can use your lube for a while, but if you have one that’s been long-forgotten and you go to use it in the heat of the moment, it definitely wouldn’t hurt to check out the expiration date before you dive in. 

Do you need to clean up after using lube?

We’ve got you covered! Check out our Refresh Wipes for all your post-sex-cleanup needs. They’re formulated with body-safe ingredients like aloe vera (which soothes redness and inflammation), tea tree oil (which heals damaged skin), and hyaluronic acid (which moisturizes and rejuvenates). 

What's better for sex? Lube, oil, or intimacy serum?

In truth, any kind of lubrication will probably enhance your sexual experience. There is not really anything “better for sex” about any of them! What you choose is totally dependent on your preferences and what’s right for you. 

Though, of course, we’re always an advocate of snagging our Body & Intimacy Serum, if you need some inspiration. 

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